For nearly two months, my post-Close of Service (COS) travels took me to remote spots in the Philippines (the adventurous island of Siargao and the rugged Cordillera mountain provinces; I can now say I have two additional tattoos this year, both tribal) and an American cross-country BROad trip with two of my closest friends. I've been able to see many family and friends since my return, sharing countless stories and pictures. But to be completely honest (and maybe you could tell from my last post), I had not planned on continuing this blog. It wasn't until I became a dependent again (for two months) and holed myself up at my parents' home that I realized the profound effect my writing had on me and others since I began in June 2012. I was never sure where to begin, but the freedom of expression transformed itself as I put finger to keyboard.
The title of this blog, Finding My Camino, is indicative of something that doesn't end, but evolves and adapts. And such is life. A never-ending road of twists and turns. We are continually finding ourselves. So as I returned home after close to two and a half years, I need to heed the words that I wrote in my last post: "My road isn't ending...only continuing." I hope to demonstrate that through everyday action, but also by sharing my ongoing growth process with you through words.
This entry itself has been evolving for weeks. I've had so many thoughts and emotions running through me as I transition back into US life that it was hard to know where to begin. The mind often becomes overexerted (causing me to overthink), but at the same time, I have found that this is a tremendous time in my life for new knowledge and mental expansion. Perhaps that is just the transitional point I now find myself in though: the so-to-speak "real world" awaits in the next few months.
On the plus side, I never found myself completely overwhelmed after returning. Despite hearing stories about going into COSTCO or Wal-Mart again and being blown away, it was more of the little things I never thought to think about before that struck me (i.e. drinking fountains; free access to safe drinking water!!??). Living in the Philippines gave me a broader perspective on the world we live in and taught me how to get by with less. To see the accessibility and consumptive practices we have here is incredible. I walked into Pottery Barn the other day and thought to myself, "who really needs a new set of dishes with Rudolph on them? Are you ever going to use them any other time of year?" Now, obviously some people feel compelled to buy such things, but the question I am now asking myself is DO I REALLY NEED THAT?
One of the most challenging things for me has been trying to get back in touch and familiarize myself with people again. Connecting through Skype, Facebook, emails, etc. while overseas isn't the same as face-to-face interaction. Just as many friends or family may pick up on changes in me, in some ways it feels like I am just meeting them all over again. That's often relieving though because it makes the conversation real. We commonly engage in small-talk, whether it be at a holiday party or family reunion, asking the same questions over and over. But do we really care about the answers? Or are the conversations superficial, ones that simply act as a time-fillers or nice gestures? I acknowledge that this depends from person-to-person. Comfortability is key. I'm not going to divulge the same amount of detail on a particular topic with a new acquaintance as maybe I would with my mother. But I also feel that we shouldn't need to hide behind masks instead of being our true selves. Don't be afraid to speak your mind or have an in-depth conversation. Good and bad timing is fickle. If the opportunity presents itself and you feel comfortable, go for it.
